開店基金:
破產姐妹
第一季 第5集
都想二十分鐘了 決定好要點什麼了嗎
Hi, it's been 20 minutes. Have you decided?
我們還需要點時間考慮
Uh, we still need more time,
-你能等會再回來嗎 -當然
- can you come back? - Sure.
我回來了
And I'm back.
拜託 又不是買房子
Come on guys you're not buying a house.
橫豎都是難吃
Everything sucks.
就挑個看似最不難吃的 塞進嘴得了
Pick the thing that sucks the least, and put it in you mouth.
麥克斯 大家都說了
Max, everyone keeps telling me
雙性戀互助會的常見台詞 "他們決定不了"
they can't decide, it's like a support group for bi-sexuals.
神奇的事件即將要發生了
Something very magical about to happen...
希望要發生的是"被提" 我想休個假
Please let it be the Rapture. I need a day off.
基督教末世論中 末日災難來臨時
活著的基督徒被送到天上與基督同在
兩分鐘後 時尚酷"潮"即將來襲
In two minutes, something very hip is happening.
如果你們有相機 記得要把"閃"光燈打開喲
If you have a camera, make sure the flash is on.
他怎麼說話怪裡怪氣的
Why is he speaking like that?
慢著
Wait a minute.
沒人點餐
No one's ordering.
大夥一直在注意手機上的時間
People keep checking the time on their phones.
每個人都穿著一樣的新百倫運動鞋
Everyone's wearing matching New Balance sneakers.
快閃族
Flash mob!
Lmfao - Party rock anthem
靠 想都別想
Oh, hell, no!
卡洛琳 厄爾 紅色警報
Caroline, Earl, code red!
老子當年阻止不了迪斯科 可誰再跳那玩意 我就開扁
I couldn't stop disco, but I'll be damned if any more of that crap gets by me.
快閃怎麼這麼快就完了
Why is flash mob over?
快閃早在一年前就玩完了
Flash mobs were over a year ago.
阿憨不知道嘛
Nobody told Han!
人家超想成為時尚潮人
I want so bad to be hip.
土包子才會把"潮"字掛嘴邊
Start by never saying that again.
您好
Hello?
-麥克斯 有電話 -別接啊
- Max, phone! - No!
你搞什麼啊 永遠別接牆上的電話
What are you doing? Never answer the wall phone!
什麼 為什麼
What? Why?
只有兩種人會打這隻電話
Only two people call the wall...
討債公司 以及打來找最初承租人的房東
collection agencies and the landlord, looking for the original tenant whose name is on the lease!
-那快掛掉吧 -來不及了
- Hang up. Quick! - Too late.
我還是鼓起勇氣來面對吧
I've got to man up and face it.
你好
Hello?
你是哪間討債公司來著
This is what collection agency?
不 我孫女麥克斯不在
No, my granddaughter Max is not here.
她死了
She died.
臨終前 她還說她是被債主
On her deathbed, she said it was the stress
長期的騷擾給逼死的
of being constantly harassed by creditors.
你太遜了 電話給我
That's juvenile. Give me the phone.
你好 剛才真是不好意思
Hi. So sorry about that.
到底是什麼事來著
What's the issue exactly?
我敢保證她有打算...
Well, I'm sure she has every intention...
你腦子進水了吧
Well, you're a doody head.
永遠不要接這電話
Never answer the wall.
可欠債問題你打算怎麼解決
But what are you gonna do about it?
總不能一直騙討債公司吧
You can't just keep lying to collection agencies.
欠債還錢天經地義
You have to pay your bills.
我有個還債機制
I have a system.
每個債主每周還五塊錢
I pay everyone five dollars a week...
省得他們抓狂找我麻煩
just enough to keep them from freaking out.
癮君子每日喝適當劑量便可抑制毒癮
這叫美沙酮療法還債版
It's the methadone-clinic banking system.
這完全是在浪費錢
That is a complete waste of money.
五塊錢都不夠付你的循環利息
Five dollars won't even cover the interest you're accruing.
你信用卡的利率是多少
What's the interest rate on your credit card?
不知道 但我對這話題的興趣度是零
Don't know, but my interest rate in the conversation is zero.
interest一字多義 有"利率"和"興趣"的意思
麥克斯 你怎麼能不知道呢
Max, how could you not know that?
我爸最早教我有關金融的事就是利率
That's one of the first things my father taught me about finance.
在哪兒教的 詐欺大學嗎
Where... at Embezzle U.?
麥克斯 我在美林證券公司實習過
Max, I interned at Merrill Lynch.
讓我幫你吧 這是我唯一能幫你的地方
Let me help you with this. It's the least I can do.
我無家可歸時 是你收留了我
I had nowhere to go. You took me in.
讓我幫你想法子還債來報答你吧
Let me repay my debt to you by helping with your debt
你不是欠著一大屁股債嘛
to everyone in the world, apparently.
如果你再喋喋不休 我就去自殺圖個清靜
If you keep talking, I'm going to Merrill lynch myself.
lynch一字多義 可當人名也有"私刑處死"的意思
我是那種 享受解決糾結問題的人
I'm one of those people who gets off on untangling big, complicated messes.
你不讓我動你糾結的頭髮 那讓我解決你的債務吧
And since you won't let me do your hair, let me do your bills.
你要幫我處理債務嗎
You want to do my bills?
這是我的帳單錦集
Here's my portfolio.
如果看到上面有屎色巧克力屑 它們可不是巧克力
And, uh, if you find chocolate sprinkles in there, they're not chocolate...
也不是普通的屑
Or sprinkles.
好吧
Okay.
我把你的帳單分成了三類
I've divided your bills into three categories...
"償還無能"
"impossible,"
"償還困難"
"next to impossible,"
以及"腦子進水了才欠的債"
and "how the hell did that happen?"
我把我的室友也分成三類
And I've divided my roommate into three categories...
"討人厭"
"annoying,"
"超級討人厭"
"super annoying,"
以及"腦子進水了才讓她搬進來的"
and "how the hell did that happen?"
我十分鐘後就要關廚房了
I'm closing kitchen in ten minutes.
我不能留太晚
I cannot stay later.
我跟我的新桃花有約
I have date with new woman in my life.
她在我心目中很重要
She's very special to me.
我覺得她是我的真命天女
I think she may be the one.
歡迎來觀看我倆激情床戰
You are both welcome to come watch us have sex.
我先把"這話兒"說在前頭
Just putting it out there.
把你"那話兒"收進裡頭
Just put it back in there.
我好激動 都不知道從何說起了
I'm so excited, I don't even know where to start.
請擊鼓
Drumroll, please.
不擊嗎 好吧
No? Okay.
有意思
Oh, interesting.
你有張來自寵物城堡的帳單
Here we have a bill from the pet castle,
可你從沒有過寵物 也沒去過城堡
yet you don't have a pet, and you've never been to a castle...
好吧 白城堡快餐店除外
Oh, except White Castle.
你居然在快餐店用信用卡
You used a credit card at White Castle?
是啊 大麻抽完肚子餓了
Yep. That was good weed.
寵物費用是因為我發現一隻流浪動物
And the pet thing was 'cause I found a stray
不把它清理乾淨 沒人會想收養它
and had to have her cleaned up before I could get anyone to take her.
怪不得還有一筆絕育費用
That would also explain the charge for neutering.
其實是我絕育
Nah, actually, that was for me.
以防有小麥克斯出來禍害人間
Can't have any more of these coming out.
你真的認為收留流浪動物是明智之舉嗎
Do you really think it's fiscally smart to be taking in strays?
說得對
Good point.
今晚你就搬走吧
Move out tonight.
這是什麼 學生貸款
What is this... a student loan?
天啊 麥克斯 你還上過大學啊
Oh, my God. Max, you went to college?
不是說你不像讀書人 只是震驚
That wasn't a judgment. It was just shocking...
像網上抽菸的嬰兒影片一樣出人意料嘛
kind of like seeing a baby smoke on the Internet.
我愛死那小孩了
I love that kid.
麥克斯 學生貸款是最不能忽視的債務
Max, a student loan is the worst bill you can ignore.
它會猶如附骨之疽一般
It can never be expunged.
又不是特殊節日 用這麼高檔的字眼乾嘛啊
We're breaking out "expunged" on a weeknight?
這筆債你是躲不掉的
You can't run away from this bill.
只要我想躲 沒有躲不掉
I can run away from anything.
我都用到第五個身份了
I'm on my fifth identity.
就像這樣 不過是在水下
It's just like that but underwater!
夥計們
Guys!
抱歉 我們準備打烊了
Sorry, we're just closing, guys.
我來招呼他們吧 麥克斯 我們得...
I'll take them, Max. We need the...
隨便坐
Uh, sit anywhere.
怎麼跟嗶嗶鳥一樣高速開溜啊
What was that Roadrunner move you just pulled?
逃跑路線上塵土飛揚
There's still a smoke outline of your body
你身影的煙塵都還未散去呢
hanging in the air out there.
嗶嗶鳥和大笨狼是華納動畫片中的角色 兩者為死對頭
大笨狼懷爾來餐廳里逮你了嗎
Did Wile E. Coyote just come in the diner?
不是 是我前男友來了
No, but my ex-boyfriend did.
嗶 嗶
Meep, meep.
為什麼威廉會來布魯克林
Why is William in Brooklyn?
為什麼威廉會來這家餐廳
Why is William in this diner?
為什麼含著金湯匙出生的有錢人都叫威廉
Why is every inbred rich guy named William?
我不想看見他
I don't want to see him.
麥克斯 把門關上 我不想他進來
Max, close the door. I don't want him to come in here.
是啊 這年頭的顧客就"愛"這麼幹
Yeah, 'cause that happens all the time.
他們喜歡一進店門 立馬徑直穿過廚房
Customers come in the front door and make a beeline through the kitchen
去看冷藏室里是否有女服務員躲在裡面
to see if there's a waitress hiding in the walk-in freezer.
夠了 到底怎麼回事
Okay, what is the deal?
速度招來 裡面冷得我都激凸了
Tell me fast. I'm nipping like crazy in here.
哇 你也不聲不響玩激凸 冷淡女
Ooh, you're smuggling some gumdrops there, too, ice queen.
他叫威廉·范·洪恩 他是...
His name is William Van Horn, and he's...
我要出發去做愛了
I am leaving for sex.
這是你們參加今晚3P 4P的最後機會
Last chance for threesome, foursome, possibly fivesome,
她姐姐火車準時到還能5P哦
if her sister's train gets in on time.
奧列格 拜託
Oleg, please.
我現在沒時間被你騷擾
I don't have time to be harassed right now.
那好吧 明天"凸"點見啦
Oh, okay. I'll see you and the gumdrops tomorrow.
故事 快說
Story. Go.
我們相識於父母公司的聚餐上
We met at our parents' companies' parent company picnic.
-他家是波士頓范·洪恩家族 -故事 打住
- His family is the Boston Van Horns... - Story. Stop.
快進到結尾 我們該不該恨他
Cut to the end. Do we hate him?
我一破產他就甩了我
He dumped me when I lost all my money...
電話 郵件都沒有 完全切斷聯繫
never called me, not an email, nothing.
好 我們恨他
Oh, we hate him.
等等 哪個是你的前任
Wait. Which one's your ex...
亞洲小子 還是黑人
the Asian one, the black one?
開玩笑的啦 不 說真的
I'm kidding. No, seriously.
是那個白人 還是那個典型死白人
The white one or the really, really white one?
典型死白人
Really, really white.
服務 服務 服務
Service, service, service,
服務 服務 服務
service, service, serv...
你也聽見你兄弟說啥了 "服侍"他呀
You heard your bro. Service him.
哇 攻勢兇猛啊
Oh, crushed!
你講話最好小心點
Hey, you'd better be careful,
我可以害你事倍功半哦
'cause I can give you a run for your money.
我都沒錢 怎麼對半
I don't have any money.
有這麼好的身材 你不需要掙錢
Well, with a body like that, you don't need any.
妙啊
Oh! Ba-bam!
你真覺得那樣很有梗嗎
Did you actually think that was a good line,
還是你就是那種
or is that what you do
跟著富二代蹭吃喝的馬屁米蟲
so the check gets paid by Richie Rich?
打住 誰說我有錢了
Hold on. Who said I was rich?
-讓我看看你的手 -幹嘛
- Let me see your Hands. - What...
看看我有沒有窮人的老繭嗎
Looking to see if I have poor-people calluses?
不 我只是想看看你雞雞有多大
No, I wanted to see how big your penis is.
有種說法是食指頂端到大拇指末端的距離 就是男人勃起的長度
只有這種大小 沒點錢還怎麼混呀
With hands that size, you better be rich.
直擊要害
Oh! Shazam!
一點也不酷 兄弟
Not cool, bro.
-你叫什麼 -米歇爾·歐巴馬
- What's your name? - Michelle Obama.
我們打烊了
We're closed.
我叫威廉 給我你的電話吧
I'm William. Give me your number.
為什麼 好讓你存進手機里
Why? So you can put it in your phone
直到地老天荒也不聯繫嗎
and never call or text or email?
我是認真的
Seriously.
給了你 你也不懂得珍惜好女孩
You wouldn't know what to do with a good girl if you had one.
你又不是 所以我才要你的電話啊
But you're not a good girl. That's why I want your number.
到底給不給號碼啊
So how about it?
我們打烊了
We're closed.
你們牌子上寫"兩點關門"
Your sign says "open till 2:00."
哎呀 哎呀
My, my.
歡樂的時光總是過得特別快
How time does fly.
兩點了 先生們 又到了時候說拜拜
2:00, gentlemen... nighty night.
我哪裡招你惹你了
What did I ever do to you?
你沒提到我 對吧
You didn't mention me, did you?
當然沒有 我剛讓他
No. I just gave him...
快進到結尾 你恨他嗎
just get to the end. Do you hate him?
我恨他
I hate him.
看見他走進這裡 感覺真的好怪
That was the weirdest thing, seeing him come in here.
不 最怪的人現在正走過來呢
No, the weirdest thing is coming in here right now.
哪裡不好啦
Why no?
UO店裡的女孩說這樣很潮呢
Girl at Urban Outfitters said it was hip.
Urban Outfitters: 美國年輕服飾品牌
我打賭輸了被逼去親熱的拉拉就這打扮
You look like a lesbian I made out with once on a dare.
憨 你自己的樣子就很可愛了
Han, you're adorable exactly as you are.
為什麼你老想變潮人呢
Why are you trying to be hip?
想認識女生呀
To meet girls.
這裡也沒這麼糟嘛
It's not that bad in here.
我還以為我人生第一次去自助洗衣店
I thought my first trip to a laundromat
會更苦悶悽慘呢
would be a lot more depressing.
共度了六年的時光了
Six years we spent together,
他卻懶得看我一眼
and now he won't even look at me.
別再拿帳單袋了
Oh, not the bag.
才看完他的褲襠袋 現在你又掏出你的
I just looked at his bag... now yours?
麥克斯 這真讓我抓狂
Max, it's driving me crazy.
你在大學主修什麼
What did you major in in college?
主修轉移話題
I majored in changing topics.
你到底看上你前任哪點
So what did you ever see in your ex,
那個失散的山寨溫克吾斯兄弟
the lost Winklevoss twin?
控告臉書創辦人剽竊臉書原始創意的兄弟檔
現在不談威廉
We're not talking about William.
只談你的帳單
We're talking about your bills.
我也只談你的比爾 吃癟吧
Well, I'm talking about your Bill! Oh, face!
Bill 一字多義 可作為William的暱稱 也有帳單的意思
麥克斯 我們將一起開創蛋糕事業
Max...We're trying to start a cupcake business.
真沒想到我得跟你說這件事
And I can't believe I'm about to say this
由於我爸在金融上有不良記錄
but with my father's financial baggage,
你是我們申請貸款的最佳人選
you're our best chance for credit.
聽著 誰二十多歲的時候不是窮的
Listen, everybody's broke in their 20s.
人人都有要逃避的事情
And everybody hides from stuff.
你選擇躲進冷藏室
You run into freezers.
我選擇視而不見和用酒精麻痹
I practice ignorance and blackout drinking.
這是怎麼回事
What's happening right now?
你好 姐們兒
Hola, dudarinos.
自助洗衣店要提前打烊了
The laundromat's closing early.
被我們租來辦80年代人人彈起迪斯科派對
We've rented it out for our '80s pop-up disco party.
波比
Bobby.
應該改名為"八零年代嬉皮人人該死
Shouldn't it be called an "'80s pop-up lame hipster
又愛自取其辱的蹩腳派對"
will do anything to be ironic and lame" party?
"蹩腳"
"Lame"?
話別說得太早
Don't think so.
什麼
What?
《電腦娃娃》的機器人女孩維姬會來
Vicki from Small wonder is coming?
風大閃了舌頭 糗大了吧
Embarrassed to be you right now.
請交七十五塊的我愛迪斯科入場費
Unless you chicks have 75 disco-lovin' bucks,
不然十分鐘內請走人
be gone in ten minutes,
不然我男人會把你倆扔出去
or my man here will throw you out.
別被他的抹胸給騙了
Don't let his tube top fool you.
波比可是個瘋狂硬漢
Bobby is mad wiry.
人家是硬漢
I'm wiry.
《機器娃娃》
Small wonder?
是學習頻道那個 小小魔術師的表演節目嗎
Is that the show on TLC about the little-people magicians?
不是
No.
是一個80年代喜劇 講述的是一個機器娃娃
It's an '80s sitcom about this little girl robot
住在一個充滿愛的家庭里
who lives with a loving family.
機器娃娃
A girl robot?
太假了吧
That's totally unbelievable.
錯 是太屌了吧
No, that's totally awesome!
假的部分是"充滿愛的家庭"
The unbelievable part is the loving family.
我愛維姬
I love Vicki.
她沒有情緒 內心空洞
She had no emotions and was empty inside.
我的人生楷模啊 咱們留下吧
My role model! We're staying.
花七十五美元幹嘛
$75? To do what...
傻站著 然後在...男人婆和娘娘腔旁翩翩起舞嗎
stand here and dance next to...guy-girl and girl-guy over there?
來吧 栗寶
Come on, Chestnut,
去嬉皮旁邊拉屎吧
go poo-poo near the hipsters.
如果能讓小栗在嬉皮身上拉屎 一定酷爆了
Hey, how cool would it be if we could get Chess to go poo on a hipster?
這些人怎麼捨得花七十五塊大洋
How can all of those people have $75
去家洗衣店裡跳舞啊
just to dance at a laundromat?
我都窮得用塗改液來補染髮根了
I've been doing my roots with white-out?
威廉斯堡的嬉皮可捨得花錢了
Hipsters in Williamsburg will pay for anything
只要他們覺得活動夠潮 玩完後還能裝就行
if it makes them feel like they're in on something new no one else knows about.
有能吸引目光的賣點就行
All you need's a gimmick.
夥計們
Dudes!
我們能騎騎你的馬嗎
Can we ride your horse?
可以 一百塊
Sure. 100 bucks.
好的 我去趟自動提款機
Okay. I got to go to the ATM.
等等 別走 我們會回來的
Wait. Stay right there. We'll be right back.
天啊
Oh, my God.
麥克斯 我們還真是忽視了這匹馬的價值
Max, we are literally looking our gift horse in the mouth.
我們有比八零年代迪斯科派對更棒的主題
We have something that's better than an '80s disco party.
我們有匹馬
We have a horse.
如果我們舉辦一場大型派對
If we throw a big enough party,
向每一個騎馬的嬉皮收費
charge hipsters for horse rides,
我們就可以還清你的學生貸款了
we could pay off your student loan!
你就這麼把栗寶推入火坑啊
You'd whore out Chestnut like that?
好歹也先讓它染上毒癮 再逼他出來接客吧
Don't you have to get him hooked on heroin first?
麥克斯 這事交給我吧
Max, I've got this.
我可是個天才活動策劃人
I'm a brilliant event planner.
我十六歲生日辦的超棒
My sweet 16 was off the chain...
豪華公寓頂層派對 粉紅和黑色為主題
penthouse party, pink and black theme.
阿蘭妮絲·莫里塞特獻唱《小碎藥丸》里的歌哦
Alanis Morissette sang songs from Jagged Little Pill.
阿蘭妮絲·莫里塞特 加拿大籍女歌手
在我十六歲的生日時
On my 16th birthday,
我媽因為吃太多小碎藥丸
my mom took too many jagged little pills,
所以我不得不 開車把她送到急救室洗胃
and I had to drive her to the emergency room to get her stomach pumped.
《推》講述的是一名窮苦人家小孩曲折的成長故事
你的童年是薩菲爾寫的那本《推》的現實版吧
Was your childhood based on the novel Push by Sapphire?
我還想呢
I wish!
主題是90年代與馬共舞派對
The theme is '90s horse party.
這正是你超想參與的潮流盛事
It's exactly the kind of hip event you're dying to be a part of.
派對會在打烊後開始
It would happen after closing,
所以不會影響營業
so it won't affect business.
而且騎馬都是在室外
And all the horse rides will take place out back.
所以不會造成餐廳任何損失
So no damage will come to the diner.
但是餐廳也無任何利益 我為什麼要答應這件事呢
But why would I say yes to giving up my diner for no cash return?
你可能有機會滾床單哦
You might get laid.
太棒了
Great!
九零年代與馬共舞派對將在周四舉辦
The '90s horse party is happening on Thursday.
太好了 還有別的問題嗎
Fantastic. Any other questions?
有
Yes.
確切來說 我到底有多少可能性可以...
What exactly is possibility of percentage of me...
滾床單嗎
Getting laid?
我只能說 有90年代主題的衣著吸引人群
All I can say is, with the cute '90s-themed-clothing incentive
再加上冷知識競賽
and the trivia contest,
很多可愛的嬉皮妹妹會來這尋求
lots of cute hipster girls will be here looking to...
滾床單
Get laid!
我現在馬上去搜索 90年代美國冷知識大全
I will go now and start to research American trivia facts about the 1990s.
你知道咱們得讓他嘗到甜頭吧
You realize we're gonna have to give him something...
比如小露咪咪之類的
like flash a little boob, something.
憨是愛屁股型的男人吧
I feel like Han's more of an ass man.
有道理 他的身高只夠看到那裡
Good point... 'cause his head is right there.
TLC - Creep
奧列格 怎麼了
Oleg, what's up?
不喜歡90年代與馬共舞派對嗎
Not enjoying the '90s horse party?
我以為是90年代與"馬子"共舞派對呢
I thought you said "'90s whores party."
害我白穿緊身衣 白噴除臭劑了
Now I'm wearing girdle and deodorant for no reason.
結果很出人意料 麥克斯
Quite a turnout, Max.
讓我想起以前常去的那家酒吧
Reminds me of the after-hours clubs I used to go to,
只不過當年吧里都是霸氣的嗑藥青年
you know, if all the cool cats shooting dope
而這裡只有喝低酒度啤酒的可悲白人弱雞男
were replaced by sad, white fools sipping light beer.
瞧
Look!
我查了資料 然後為自己做了件90年代T恤
I did research and make myself a 1990s trivia T-shirt.
Han音似hand
"Talk to the hand"字面是跟手/憨說話 其實是"懶得理你"
"憨得理你"
"Talk to the Han."
懂麼
Get it?
"憨得理你"
"Talk to the Han!"
還真的挺酷的
That actually is cool.
我希望這件衣服能助我...
I am hoping it will help me...
滾床單嗎
Get laid?
想買個電子寵物 還是比弗"奧利奧"山莊小蛋糕嗎
Care to purchase a tamagotchi or a 90210-reo cupcake?
90210是比弗利山莊郵編
我們本來是想來砸場子的
We came here wanting to hate on you chicks hard.
可是你們後院的馬真的酷到爆啊
But that horse you got out back is mad cool.
你們大獲全勝啊 派對之王
You bested us, party beast.
就這一點 我脫帽致敬
And to that, I doff my cap.
-這蛋糕多少錢 -每個十美元
- How much are the cupcakes? - $10 each.
再次脫帽致敬 女士
I doff my cap again, my lady.
麥克斯 你瞧
Max, look at all this.
我們成功了
We're a success!
有個環節失敗了 憨都沒嘗到半點甜頭
I'll tell you what's not a success...the plan to get Han some action.
瞧他那可憐樣
Look at him over there.
-太可憐了 -我知道
- That's so sad. - I know.
快伸出援"手"讓憨樂呵樂呵吧
Go over there and give him a "Han" job.
威廉
William!
嗶 嗶
Meep, meep.
你知道這裡是冷藏室 不是壓驚室吧
You realize this is a freezer, not a panic room, right?
快出去
Just go out there
踹爆他屁股 給他點顏色瞧瞧
and tear his smug, white ass a new one.
我不敢見他 麥克斯
I can't face him, Max.
為什麼 他才是那個切斷聯繫的人
Why? He's the one who didn't call you.
我不敢見他是因為我是個女服務員
I can't face him because I'm a waitress.
上次他見我時
Last time he saw me,
我還是個住著豪宅的億萬富翁
I was a billionaire in a townhouse.
現在我只是個躲在冷藏室的女服務員
Now I'm a waitress in a walk-in freezer.
所以說 你躺在你的信託基金上
So, when you were laying around on your trust fund,
整天屁事不干
doing nothing every day,
甚至讓別人幫你刷廁所
having other people scrub your toilet,
你才敢抬頭挺胸
you could hold your head up high?
可是現在你自食其力
But now that you support yourself
卻反而覺得抬不起頭嗎
by earning your own money, that's somehow shameful?
誰管他是怎麼想的
Who cares what he thinks?
他不過個是花一百塊來與馬共舞的冤大頭
He is the guy who just paid $100 to party with a horse.
他才是笨蛋 不是你
He's the loser, not you.
真的嗎 因為他在外面瀟洒快活
Really? 'Cause he's out there having fun,
而我在這裡
and I'm in here,
抱著一罐過期的藍奶酪
hugging a tub of expired blue cheese.
聽我說
Look...
你看見你手中的一團鈔票了嗎
You see that wad of cash in your Hand?
這是你自己掙來的
You earned that.
把這團鈔票甩到手掌上幾次
Slap that wad in your palm a few times!
感受一下金錢的力量
Feel its power.
你就這麼點勁嗎
That's all you got?
拜託 使勁捏那團鈔票
Come on, really squeeze that wad!
手裡有錢的感覺很好 對吧
Feels good in your Hands, right?
-感覺是挺好的 -對
- Feels pretty good. - Yeah.
現在甩過去說 這是老娘掙來的
Now slap it and say, "this is my wad!"
這是老娘掙來的
This is my wad.
這是老娘掙來的
This is my wad!
這是老娘掙來的
This is my wad!
殺過去吧
Go out there.
老娘現在就殺過去
I'm going out there!
等我的"姐妹們"平靜下來再說
As soon as the ladies calm down.
開什麼玩笑
Are you kidding?
讓他看他損失了多少 挺起胸膛
Show him what he's missing. Let 'em pop, playa!
躲哪去了 你這個有錢的裝貨
Where are you, you rich poseur?
大夥聽著
Listen up!
這句話只是特指一個有錢的裝貨
That was meant exclusively for one specific rich poseur.
你們其他有錢的裝貨 繼續派對吧
All you other rich poseurs, just continue with the '90s!
他在哪 有看到他嗎
Where is he? Do you see him?
沒 他剛才還在這兒呢
No. He was right over there.
他走了
He's gone.
不能當著他面給他點顏色瞧瞧了
I don't get to shove this in his face.
wad一字多義 有一團錢跟一灘精液的意思
換我把一團"東西"丟他臉上 感覺應該也挺爽的
It would've been nice to put my wad in his face for a change.
說到那方面 快看
Oh, speaking of wads, look over there.
真是可愛的小男寵
He's such a little pimp.
你還好吧
Are you okay?
說實話 我挺好的
Yeah. Actually, I am.
我想我不需要走過去
I guess I didn't need to go over there
給他一番振振有詞的大演說
and make some big, dramatic speech,
來告訴他 即使我現在是個女服務員
telling him that even though I'm a waitress,
也比他強
I'm better than him.
我心裡明白了就行 謝謝
I know that now. Thank you.
如果有天真的再遇到他
And when I see him one day in the future,
我會樂意告訴他的
I'll be happy to tell him that.
他剛從男廁所出來了
He just came out of the men's room.
咱們快跑吧
Let's get out of here!
什麼 我以為你要告訴他呢
What? I thought you wanted to talk to him!
我是說以後 但現在是在90年代
I said, "the future." This is the '90s.
咱們快走 跑
Let's get out of here. Run!
逃避的感覺是不錯吧
Feels good running away from your bill, huh?
太棒了
So great.
瞧 我一直以來多有見地啊
See, that's what I've been saying.
至少你不必再逃避你的學生貸款了
Well, at least you don't have to run from your student loan bill.
還清那個錢
We can pay that off
我們還能剩五十美元存進蛋糕基金呢
and still have $50 for the cupcake fund.
大學贏了 真不爽啊
I hate that college won.
你在那所大學沒任何收穫嗎
Didn't you get anything out of it?
你是說 除了接吻病和一個畫手指畫只喜歡用手摸
You mean, besides mono and an art teacher whose idea of finger-painting
全名為傳染性單核白血球增多症
常在青少年間通過唾液傳染的疾病
而不喜歡用手畫的變態藝術老師嗎
was a little more "finger" than "painting"?
藝術老師
Art teacher?
麥克斯 你是主修藝術的嗎
Max, was that your major... art?
眼睛注意看前方 你在騎馬呢
Keep your eyes on the road. You're driving.
當年曾有過這麼短短的一秒
I just thought for, like, a second,
覺得或許自己可以畫童書
I could maybe illustrate children's books.
麥克斯 這太有愛了
Max, that's so sweet.
你跟機器娃娃才不一樣呢
You're not like Vicki at all.
麥克斯 瞧 憨
Max, look. Han!
我們的小不點 給自己弄了點小甜頭啊
Aw, our little somethin'-somethin' got him a little somethin'-somethin'!
我向你致敬 女俠
I doff my cap, milady!